Don't you just hate it when things don't exactly go your way? For example, I had to learn the hard way that I should never pluck my own eyebrows, cut my own bangs, or put together IKEA furniture. So imagine how Kim Kardashian must feel about her grand plans for wedding related media coverage. She had built the day up to compete with the Royal wedding. She had anticipated months of post-nuptial commentary. She led the press to believe she was ready to get preggo. But a few things messed up her plans, didn't they?
1. Her groom was not willing to go along with her self-centered plans.
2. His family made it pretty clear she was a nightmare.
3. The general public actually found her nuptials sort of cheesy. Only someone completely self obsessed would drip their ceremony with their own initials.
So once she had some alone time with the groom and realized things were going south pretty quickly she filed for divorce. She was again surprised at the public's lack of support. You mean people don't identify with a reality star who wears three wedding gowns, diamond headpieces, and invites more reporters than family to her own wedding?
So her mother (and manager) tried to throw her a bone. She claimed she didn't make that much money off the wedding despite reports. But take into account, for example, the fact that she made 30% off all revenue from commercials aired during her wedding special. Did I mention it ran in over 50 countries?
What about that ridiculous engagement ring? You don't have to give back something you bought the year before you even met your groom, do you? Those wedding gifts they received? She wanted to keep all those Hermes place settings. Maybe she's thinking of inviting the staff over at People Magazine over for a holiday party?
So she is feeling the stress. She actually allowed herself to be photographed without her normal four layers of pancake foundation. She flew commercial on a red eye to Minnesota. She reportedly even brought her own pillow (which just happens to be sprayed with her own perfume and dusted with flakes of gold). For what reason? She wants us all to believe that she is trying to bring some sort of closure to the fiasco she created. Maybe spend a couple hours with the pastor that married you? Maybe conference with the guy you were willing to marry in a legal ceremony? Might have been helpful to do all these things before the 72-day marriage ceased.
But the divorce will continue.
Next plan of attack? A heart felt interview for People Magazine about the big mistake she made. She will wear pink. She will promise herself a period of self-reflection. This will culminate in a special to be aired on the E! Network. Perhaps release a love ballad on iTunes and then ask the public for their support in her pursuit to find a sperm donor for a child she plans on naming after herself. I can see it all coming together.
-Kate Casey
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter
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