Relationship Advice From Our Resident Expert, Denise Shannon
Dear Denise,
So I have this great boyfriend and everyone tells me how lucky I am to be with him. We have a lot of fun and almost everything is good, except that he is always checking in on me. We see each other most days, but definitely talk each night and he always wants to know what I did all day—every bit of it and every detail. If I go out with a friend he doesn’t know, then he asks a million questions and says he wants to meet them. I know he is a bit protective but I’m starting to feel like this is not normal. Should I be concerned?
Natalie
Dear Natalie,
The first question you need to answer is “are you are ok reporting your daily activities to your boyfriend?” If you are both alright with this type of relationship, then no one else should judge. However, it sounds like you are a bit uncomfortable. There could be several options for why he acts like this, but my initial feeling is that your boyfriend has trust issues—not just with you but with any woman he would date.
I highly suggest you talk with him and casually ask why he is so interested in your whereabouts. If you can understand his concern or reasons, then you can decide whether or not you are able to tolerate his questioning for the duration of your relationship. It is possible he had a former girlfriend who cheated on him or that he grew up in a household where everyone reported their daily activities. It’s really hard to know unless you ask him. It is also possible that he is completely unaware of his questioning and its affect on you.
Whatever his reason(s) you need to think about whether or not this will work for you. One of the fundamental pieces of any relationship is trust and if both of you are unable or unwilling to trust the other, then there really is no future. However, I hope you are both able to work past this and find a happy and healthy balance that works. Best of luck.
Denise Shannon
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