I tried to watch the Bachelor Monday night. I put in a good hour of public service until I couldn’t physically take it anymore. Did these girls understand he is essentially an albino covered in spray tan? What about the girl who did a back bend in her evening gown and collapsed mid-bridge? This is to say nothing of the 48-year-old yoga teacher with frazzled hair and no shoes. Are they kidding me with this? And has it occurred to anyone that he might not be straight? What kind of guy goes on a reality dating show when he is a born again virgin?
So my buddy Courtney tells me that in fact one of her best friends actually appeared on the Bachelor Paris. That was the one where that milquetoast doctor named Travis chose the kindergarten teacher who actually lived around the corner in Tennessee. Here’s a shocker: they broke up.
So I had to get more information. What would make a normal girl from Southern California agree to be part of that shat show?
Kyle graduated from UC Santa Barbara and did post graduate work at UCLA. She has her own company called First Class Counseling working as a college counselor and helping high school kids with the college application process. She is also a flight attendant for Jet Blue Airways. This is her very cute boyfriend Brady. You can find her at www.culinaryhopscotch.com (she’s a foodie).
Here are her answers:
What made you sign up for The Bachelor in the first place? Because I know you are friends with Courtney, so you have to be normal.
One of my college roommate’s was a casting director in 2005, and during her wedding, I met one of the casting producers for The Bachelor. They asked me to come up to LA and interview multiple times, and when I found out it was going to be filmed in Paris, I finally caved in and agreed. A free ticket to Paris on ABC’s dime? Yes please. Of course, I had to play the, “Oh, I’m so ready to fall in love” part during the interview, knowing full-well they wouldn’t cast me if I didn’t. Maybe I do have a future as an actress after all.
Did you have any trepidation? Specifically having to starve yourself for weeks so you looked good in the hot tub scenes?
Not really. More so it was about how to pack all of my shit. See the next question.
Does the production staff provide you with a collection of prom dresses or do you have to bring your own?
No, not even a little bit. They gave us a packing list with all sorts of random “tips,” telling us to pack everything from clothes for a hike in the Swiss Alps to those you’d wear helping kids make friendship bracelets in Africa. But you were only allowed to pack in two suitcases, and had to bring enough stuff to potentially be away for six weeks. That was really fun. One of our friends (Alison Eastman) loaned me half her closet and acted as my stylist, doing everything from putting together camera-friendly outfits to sitting on my suitcases while I zipped them shut. A trunk á la Kate Winslet in “Titanic” would have been a lot more convenient. By the way, if you notice as you’re watching, a lot of the girls will start borrowing each others dresses as the weeks go on. Reduce, reuse, re-diculous.
What sort of questions do they ask you? Do they let you know anything about the Bachelor? For example, that he is probably a dirt bag only interested in using his 15 minutes of fame to host a morning television program where he dresses in hospital scrubs?
We didn’t know a thing about our Bachelor before we arrived, although it seems like they have since changed that. All of the girls on last night’s show seemed to know who the guy was when they hopped out of the limo with their cheesy bullshit lines and gimmicks. During my casting interview, the cameraman had a Boston Red Sox’s hat on. This was during the fall (baseball playoff time) and I’m a huge Angels fan. So I sat there the whole time telling him how much his team sucked and basically jocking his style for a half hour. I think they must have liked my sarcasm or something… I literally can’t remember anything they asked me. Once I was done with that one-on-one assault, they whisked me into a room full of casting directors who were watching it on a live feed. They fired questions at me at-will, and I dodged them like a blackbelt ninja.
Them: “Why are you and your best friend (Colleen) going to Oktoberfest? Is it a boy-chasing trip?”
Me: “No, it’s a beer-chasing trip. Next question.” Things like that.
When you got out of the limo did you find him attractive? Or were you immediately concerned that his hairline was a little thin?
Yeah, he was a tall drink of water. To be honest with you, I was more concerned about whether the champagne stain on my dress had dried. They stuff multiple girls in each of those limos so you’re not rolling solo when you pull-up. And of course, they start plying you with alcohol straight away. In this case, it was those little cans of champagne with the straws in the limo. Me being Bill Nye the Science Guy plunged the straw into the can, and a waterfall of the bubbly came cascading onto my dress while we were driving. Fortunately, it happened on the way to the holding area where they cleaned up our hair and makeup before the main event. They stripped me out of my dress and blew it dry with a blow-dryer while I wrapped up in one of the girl’s trench coats. Class, class, class.
How soon could you tell the other women were complete nutbags, specifically the girl complaining about her drying ovaries (Ali)? What did you talk about during filming?
I was only there the first night. They booted half of us that evening…ahem, morning. One of the things you don’t realize is that they use all the hours of darkness to constitute the evening you see on TV. So, we arrived and started filming at about 9:00 p.m. and didn’t finish until 7:30 a.m. the following morning. You wonder why everyone is a bat-shit crazy mess; you’re up all night, drinking cheap booze, eating cucumber sandwiches without the crust, and talking to chicks you don’t know. The entire thing was much more orchestrated than you would think. They would tell girls to go talk to him, then send another over to interrupt them, etc… I literally spoke to him for about 45 seconds before Chris Harrison did his famous “ting ting ting” on the champagne glass to signify it was time for the rose ceremony.
At any time during the rose ceremonies did you want to interrupt Chris Harrison and announce that you actually found Travis to be not only incredible boring but also not that attractive? Did you really ever consider making out with him in the privacy of a hotel suite, let alone in his Bachelor shack in Tennessee?
Dude, those rose ceremonies can suck it! The first (and only) one that I was at was awful. It took about two hours for him to cut us in groups as he exited and entered the room every fifteen minutes. “Just pull the bandaid off, Dr. Stork!” My guess is that he was going back in a room to look at our pictures and figure out who the fuck we actually were. He literally didn’t talk to probably 1/3 of the girls there, so how would he know anyone’s names? There also were likely casting people “assisting” him in deciding who to keep. Meanwhile, we’re all standing there at 5:30 a.m. with our thumbs up our asses under these massively hot studio lights, sweating like Honey Boo Boo hookers in church with our hair falling in our face, our buzzes wearing off, and a good sense we were being sent packing. So much for seeing the Paris sights…
Do you think any of those nutbags ever really thought they’d marry this tool bag?
Oh totally. As previously mentioned, the nutjob Ali from Florida had a meltdown after the rose ceremony culminated. There was a wonderful shot of me rolling my eyes at her as she lamented her aging ovaries and then stormed back in to have a chat with Dr. Stork! Evidently she took his last name a little too seriously and figured she’d skip the pomp and circumstance and head right to the maternity ward with him.
How much do you hate Chris Harrison?
I didn’t really log much time with him, but if you’re asking, I think he’s as worthless as tits on a boar hog when it comes to that show. Can’t they just set off the microwave timer or something to indicate the rose ceremony?
Is there anything we should know about how they liquor up the contestants? Did you feel at times you were imprisoned in a hoochie hotel?
Imprisoned. Great word. They flew us to Paris days before we started filming and sequestered us in our rooms during that entire time. You weren’t able to go outside at all, and couldn’t visit the hotel gym without a scheduled slot to ensure we weren’t having a meeting of the minds before the first night. As such, we got to spend our shit per diem on crappy, expensive room service, all the while looking at Paris from our windows that didn’t open. Les Miserables. I watched “Family Guy” in French, and forced the production assistants to check baseball scores when they briefly pulled us from our rooms for things like publicity photo shoots (all those pics you see in US Weekly), etc… I think it was some form of psychological warfare to up the crazy-ante. It’s like locking up a three-year-old in a dog crate for a week, letting them out, and then recording what they do.
What made you sign up for The Bachelor in the first place? Because I know you are friends with Courtney, so you have to be normal.
One of my college roommate’s was a casting director in 2005, and during her wedding, I met one of the casting producers for The Bachelor. They asked me to come up to LA and interview multiple times, and when I found out it was going to be filmed in Paris, I finally caved in and agreed. A free ticket to Paris on ABC’s dime? Yes please. Of course, I had to play the, “Oh, I’m so ready to fall in love” part during the interview, knowing full-well they wouldn’t cast me if I didn’t. Maybe I do have a future as an actress after all.
Did you have any trepidation? Specifically having to starve yourself for weeks so you looked good in the hot tub scenes?
Not really. More so it was about how to pack all of my shit. See the next question.
Does the production staff provide you with a collection of prom dresses or do you have to bring your own?
No, not even a little bit. They gave us a packing list with all sorts of random “tips,” telling us to pack everything from clothes for a hike in the Swiss Alps to those you’d wear helping kids make friendship bracelets in Africa. But you were only allowed to pack in two suitcases, and had to bring enough stuff to potentially be away for six weeks. That was really fun. One of our friends (Alison Eastman) loaned me half her closet and acted as my stylist, doing everything from putting together camera-friendly outfits to sitting on my suitcases while I zipped them shut. A trunk á la Kate Winslet in “Titanic” would have been a lot more convenient. By the way, if you notice as you’re watching, a lot of the girls will start borrowing each others dresses as the weeks go on. Reduce, reuse, re-diculous.
What sort of questions do they ask you? Do they let you know anything about the Bachelor? For example, that he is probably a dirt bag only interested in using his 15 minutes of fame to host a morning television program where he dresses in hospital scrubs?
We didn’t know a thing about our Bachelor before we arrived, although it seems like they have since changed that. All of the girls on last night’s show seemed to know who the guy was when they hopped out of the limo with their cheesy bullshit lines and gimmicks. During my casting interview, the cameraman had a Boston Red Sox’s hat on. This was during the fall (baseball playoff time) and I’m a huge Angels fan. So I sat there the whole time telling him how much his team sucked and basically jocking his style for a half hour. I think they must have liked my sarcasm or something… I literally can’t remember anything they asked me. Once I was done with that one-on-one assault, they whisked me into a room full of casting directors who were watching it on a live feed. They fired questions at me at-will, and I dodged them like a blackbelt ninja.
Them: “Why are you and your best friend (Colleen) going to Oktoberfest? Is it a boy-chasing trip?”
Me: “No, it’s a beer-chasing trip. Next question.” Things like that.
When you got out of the limo did you find him attractive? Or were you immediately concerned that his hairline was a little thin?
Yeah, he was a tall drink of water. To be honest with you, I was more concerned about whether the champagne stain on my dress had dried. They stuff multiple girls in each of those limos so you’re not rolling solo when you pull-up. And of course, they start plying you with alcohol straight away. In this case, it was those little cans of champagne with the straws in the limo. Me being Bill Nye the Science Guy plunged the straw into the can, and a waterfall of the bubbly came cascading onto my dress while we were driving. Fortunately, it happened on the way to the holding area where they cleaned up our hair and makeup before the main event. They stripped me out of my dress and blew it dry with a blow-dryer while I wrapped up in one of the girl’s trench coats. Class, class, class.
How soon could you tell the other women were complete nutbags, specifically the girl complaining about her drying ovaries (Ali)? What did you talk about during filming?
I was only there the first night. They booted half of us that evening…ahem, morning. One of the things you don’t realize is that they use all the hours of darkness to constitute the evening you see on TV. So, we arrived and started filming at about 9:00 p.m. and didn’t finish until 7:30 a.m. the following morning. You wonder why everyone is a bat-shit crazy mess; you’re up all night, drinking cheap booze, eating cucumber sandwiches without the crust, and talking to chicks you don’t know. The entire thing was much more orchestrated than you would think. They would tell girls to go talk to him, then send another over to interrupt them, etc… I literally spoke to him for about 45 seconds before Chris Harrison did his famous “ting ting ting” on the champagne glass to signify it was time for the rose ceremony.
At any time during the rose ceremonies did you want to interrupt Chris Harrison and announce that you actually found Travis to be not only incredible boring but also not that attractive? Did you really ever consider making out with him in the privacy of a hotel suite, let alone in his Bachelor shack in Tennessee?
Dude, those rose ceremonies can suck it! The first (and only) one that I was at was awful. It took about two hours for him to cut us in groups as he exited and entered the room every fifteen minutes. “Just pull the bandaid off, Dr. Stork!” My guess is that he was going back in a room to look at our pictures and figure out who the fuck we actually were. He literally didn’t talk to probably 1/3 of the girls there, so how would he know anyone’s names? There also were likely casting people “assisting” him in deciding who to keep. Meanwhile, we’re all standing there at 5:30 a.m. with our thumbs up our asses under these massively hot studio lights, sweating like Honey Boo Boo hookers in church with our hair falling in our face, our buzzes wearing off, and a good sense we were being sent packing. So much for seeing the Paris sights…
Do you think any of those nutbags ever really thought they’d marry this tool bag?
Oh totally. As previously mentioned, the nutjob Ali from Florida had a meltdown after the rose ceremony culminated. There was a wonderful shot of me rolling my eyes at her as she lamented her aging ovaries and then stormed back in to have a chat with Dr. Stork! Evidently she took his last name a little too seriously and figured she’d skip the pomp and circumstance and head right to the maternity ward with him.
How much do you hate Chris Harrison?
I didn’t really log much time with him, but if you’re asking, I think he’s as worthless as tits on a boar hog when it comes to that show. Can’t they just set off the microwave timer or something to indicate the rose ceremony?
Is there anything we should know about how they liquor up the contestants? Did you feel at times you were imprisoned in a hoochie hotel?
Imprisoned. Great word. They flew us to Paris days before we started filming and sequestered us in our rooms during that entire time. You weren’t able to go outside at all, and couldn’t visit the hotel gym without a scheduled slot to ensure we weren’t having a meeting of the minds before the first night. As such, we got to spend our shit per diem on crappy, expensive room service, all the while looking at Paris from our windows that didn’t open. Les Miserables. I watched “Family Guy” in French, and forced the production assistants to check baseball scores when they briefly pulled us from our rooms for things like publicity photo shoots (all those pics you see in US Weekly), etc… I think it was some form of psychological warfare to up the crazy-ante. It’s like locking up a three-year-old in a dog crate for a week, letting them out, and then recording what they do.
-Kate Casey
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter
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