Being a model and actress in the land of dreams, Los Angeles and Fabulous Las Vegas can be tough enough. It's a roller coaster ride that I have always wanted to be on. Unfortunately, my love life is the kind of roller coaster ride that makes me feel nausea and the frequent urge to just put my head between my legs and wait for it to pass.
I have dated men that have lifted me to heights I never knew I could reach and men that have brought me to an all new set of lows. All of which have helped me become who I am today with no sign of true love in sight. Small consolation prize if you ask me.
My parents believe I will never get married because "I'm too picky." I say, I just know what I want. I don't see myself simply putting up with someone for the sake of having a relationship. I believe in the fairytale. I believe that there really can be a happily ever after. That somewhere, in this remarkable world, my soul mate awaits me.
In the meantime, I am often forced to date intolerable, uneducated, cocky, lazy, lying, cheating men that's only dateable qualities consist of a rock hard body and great sex. On the flip, I can date the man who wants to be my knight and shining armor, but after one too many failed relationships it just makes me think he's trying too hard, and that makes me wonder what he's compensating for. These days it seems you either have to choose between the really attractive looser or the unattractive great guy on paper. My definition of a "great guy on paper" is the one who is everything you always thought you wanted but once you get, you're not sure why you wanted it in the first place. He's the one who has the successful career, ready to settle down, treats me like a queen, but for some unknown reason.there is something missing. Something I just can't quite put my finger on.
Of course as a single girl everyone wants to assume they know what's best for me. From my parents, my girlfriends, my agents, my manager, even my dogs sometimes look at me like they know something I don't know. How is a girl supposed to find her way in life, let alone true love if everyone else keeps filling her head with their ideals?
The way I see it; my life, my love. At any given moment I want the right to choose. Choose my man, Choose sex, Choose love, Choose friendship, Choose a relationship or not at all. After all, I am the one who's going to be dating him.
I believe the hardest part of dating is not knowing people's motives. As a model, it's tough to know if a guy is really into me, or just my looks. I am the first to admit, I'm a complicated girl. As a Cancer, I can be moody, emotional and sometimes just unpredictable, but I love with no limits. When I love I hope it's forever. Yet, all I seem to be meeting are guys I could never have a future with. So I date, and I date and I complain, but I will continue to date none the less. I know that I have more to offer than what people see on the outside. We all deserve to have people in our lives who hold us together when it seems the rest of the world is falling down around us. I can only hope that someday someone will see me for the real me and I will see them in their entirety and it will come together in the most remarkable way and we will fall in love and grow old together. Until then, I'm going to keep putting myself out there and remain a cheerleader for love.
Jamie Frontz- Model
