Amore Magazine: Kate Casey

Kate Casey

February 08, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Kris Jenner Is “Demanding and Narcissistic”

InTouch Weekly wrote a check to Robert Kardashian’s widow who was willing to fork over his old diaries and most recently Kris Jenner’s psychiatric evaluation from their 90s divorce battle. The mental health evaluation report allegedly took place during Kris’ divorce from the late Robert Kardashian and is an official court document. She must have had those files saved in a safety deposit box in the middle of a desert for safekeeping. Seems like a strange thing to just keep around considering he died more than 10 years ago.

Kris is described as “narcissistic…[with] a marked elevation of the narcissistic scale,” according to a new report from In Touch magazine. She is also slammed for her actions and responses, with the report describing her as “demanding,” “manipulative,” and having “a Cinderella attitude where situations resulted in everyone living ‘happily ever after.’” The evaluation of Kris, 57, who is now married to Bruce Jenner, said she “believed she was a loving mother to her children,” however, “her sense of self is based much more on fantasy than realistic considerations.” Robert claimed that his wife was “reckless and non-motherly.”

It kind of makes sense, no? Telling everyone her daughter’s second trip down the aisle was like a royal wedding even though her claim to fame was a Vivid video made with her quasi-rapper ex-boyfriend? Dressing like she is one of her 30-year-old daughters? Forcing her miserable diamond earring-wearing husband to remain married to her in order to protect her brand? Overlooking her daughter’s high school education so they can have their own breakout reality show or be able to model for a Japanese bag line? Bankrolling her lazy son’s luxury sock line so he has somewhere to go when he’s not playing video games and reorganizing his closets? Etc. Etc.

Come to think about it…. Maybe she should leave Bruce and shack up with my dad?

From my dad’s most recent letter to me:

“I wonder if you are watching Downtown Abbey on PBS, it is all the rage around here. I can relate to a lot of it, being half English, and living in England myself.”

This is the same guy that speaks with a fake Irish accent, now goes by his Gaelic name, and claims he was a part of major historical moments in Irish political history over the last 30 years. Now he relates to a show about English aristocracy and their servants.

They could be good together. Bruce could get the divorce he so badly wants and Kris and my dad could have a spin off show called Crazy Love. Could be a ratings hit.

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

February 01, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Anne Hathaway Has Hired Team of Writers for Oscar Speech

Oh, man. Hathaway is something else. As you know, I wrote a piece last week on just how annoying I find Anne Hathaway.

Forget gun control or economic policy, this is something the entire country can get behind. She’s already a pile of nonsense and then throw in an Oscar nomination. Sure, she lost a bunch of weight and sang a nice song, but she didn’t find a cure for athlete’s foot. So she needs to take it down a couple notches.

Despite getting groans for feigning overwhelming emotion during her Golden Globes acceptance speech for her role in Les Misérables, the actress is “planning another cringeworthy monologue for the Oscars.” Anne is “so sure she will win that she is planning another visceral monologue for the Oscars. She is working with a team of writers to develop a worthy speech as her last. She has also recently turned her NYC pad into her rehearsal stage.” A friend says, “If she doesn’t win for Best Supporting Actress, it’ll take all her acting skills to hide her disappointment.” Hathaway is “obsessing over every other aspect of the big night, turning her NYC pad into an Oscar rehearsal center. Anne’s dedicated three rooms for fittings, makeup tests and to practice her red carpet interviews.”

Seriously, can someone smack her with a frying pan? Can’t that new husband of hers ask her to sit down for a second? Because this all getting out of hand.

She’s like a Bridezilla, but way worse.

This is what I say. If you are going to write a good Oscar speech it should cover the following:

    An immediate sign of disbelief. Tears should begin but the real waterworks saved for the last sentence. It would only muddle the

message.
    A brisk walk to the podium. Just get that out of the way.
    Start with a deep breath and a head tilt.
    Admit that it’s hard to encapsulate an entire life’s worth of work into one moment of gratitude.
    Say the best that you can do is to say that it was always something you’ve dreamed of winning, that you’ve appreciated every heartbreak and triumph along the way, and how gracious you are for the support for your performance. Probably good to also say that there are too many people to thank, that it would be impossible to name all the people that have been with you along this journey.
    Close with an inspirational message for everyone embarking on a new career and the satisfaction that comes with hard work and dedication.
    Thank everyone again.

Things to avoid, of course, should then include:

    Over dramatizing the joy of hearing your name.
    Grasping onto all your co-stars and friends in the audience around you before going up to the stage. (The clock is running).
    Taking a long walk up to the stage. It’s not your wedding, weirdo. There are other awards.
    Facing the audience, raising your award in the air, and taking prolonged gasps.
    Thanking all of your fellow nominees. They don’t care what you have to say.
    Quoting some philosopher. Everyone knows you never read books.
    Going through the names of all the makeup people, dieticians, and lighting people who made this moment possible. No one cares.
    Explaining how his one role changed your entire life. You sang a song, relax nutbag.
    Saying some ridiculous statement about how your new husband is your friend and lover and the beginning of your tomorrows. Save it for the Valentine’s Day card.
    Taking a slow walk while collapsing into the presenter in tears. They don’t care either.

My secret hope is someone else wins. Can we make sure Sally Field or Helen Hunt wins?

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

January 25, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Gwyneth Paltrow is Annoying And Here is Why

She bugs. That’s the best way to explain it simply. Gwyneth Paltrow believes she is better than you. She’s able to maintain a marriage, be an exceptional mother, businesswoman, and friend while enjoying a fancy life, a perfect body and looks. It’s not her fault you can not keep up.

1. She eats better than you.

To be released April 2, “It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy, Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great” is a collection of 185 “restorative” dishes that also come with a slew of food restrictions: recipes are sugar-free, non-dairy, vegetarian, wheat-free and non-alcoholic. So a real comfort food kind of cookbook. Great for miserable cookouts and you-will-never-have-anyone-come-back-to-your-house dinner parties.

“My indulging is a fresh baguette with cheese and a glass of red wine or french fries and fried zucchini. Or a turkey burger.’

Routinely does diet detoxes consisting of seven-day juice diets. Perfect if you want an energy boost and constant diarrhea.

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

So don’t send her a canister of kettle corn.

2. She is a better parent.

“I am by nature a very creative person, and I really can only do one movie a year because my kids are so small, and if I miss even two days of their lives, they’re gone.”

Translation: For me it is a sacrifice to get paid $15 million to star in a studio picture that will require me spending 12 days on a movie set in a luxury location where day care and luxury accommodations will be made available.

Speaking to InStyle magazine, the mother-of-two said Apple was ‘cross’ as ‘I only let them watch TV in French or Spanish’. She added: ‘When I’m in France, I go to [Boulevard] Beaumarchais and buy all their cartoons.’

That is unlike you, loser, who lets your kids watch Sesame Street or Wizards of Waverly Place. She doesn’t buy plastic toys that require batteries.

They read literature. They do children’s yoga. They help the poor.

Your kids eat paste.

3. She has better friends.

Look, I am sure your Bunco group is a hoot and those friends you met at the park are great. But Goop runs with ballers. Ever heard of Jerry Seinfeld? Steven Spielberg is her godfather. Cameron Diaz considers her a life coach of sorts. Kate Hudson clings to her when she’s in London. Beyonce and Jay-Z are among her best friends. She won’t hang out with a reality star or someone who is still considered a struggling actor or God forbid did not attend school in Greenwich or a boarding school in the Swiss Alps. Lunch with Anna Wintour? Oh, yes, of course. Would she ever be caught dead engaging in conversation with you at Starbucks? Jesus, no. Don’t be crazy.

4. She lives better than you. You get that, peasant people?

“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”

It is because of this she saw an opportunity to charge people a fee to access the kind of information only available to someone who lives a very blessed life. You need her to explain to you what you are missing out as you sit in your house and pay your bills, feed your kids pizza pockets, and sport Banana Republic chinos you bought on the sale rack. Her life is aspirational, you see. Goop is a lifestyle newsletter and website.

“I have this incredible, blessed, sometimes difficult, very lucky, very unique life, and I’ve gotten to travel all over the place and to work and live in different cities. … I go on tour with my husband and go to cities I would never necessarily go to. So I started accruing all of this information. I am the person my friends call when they want to know: “I am redoing this bathroom, and I want a sink that looks midcentury, but a contemporary version of a midcentury. Where should I go?” or “How do I make your (recipes)?” So she can explain to you the point of detoxing, how to hire a chauffeur when traveling to Cannes, and charge you upwards of $515 for a Goop labeled sweater.

“A little trip away in the summer is exciting and rejuvenating, especially if you can’t take all of August off like the Italians/French do.”

Because you do that, don’t you? Just cancel all your appointments and take the month of August off so you can tour four-star hotels throughout Europe. I am sure boss would totally get it.

5. She never embarrasses herself.

“I think they’re the idiot people and I’m the normal person. But I don’t really go to parties where … I don’t really have drunk friends. My friends are kind of adult; they have a drink. But they hold their liquor. I think it’s incredibly embarrassing when people are drunk. It just looks so ridiculous. I find it very degrading. I think, ooh, you’re really degrading yourself right now, to be this pissed out in public.”So don’t get any ideas bringing your bottle of vodka over to her mansion. You have one drink and it will have plenty of ice and would never have a sugared rim or an umbrella.

She will do karaoke, but only sing hits that compliment her vocal range.

She will gladly laugh at you but never at herself.

She’s annoying. You get it. I get it. She will never get it.

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

January 18, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Anne Hathaway Is Socially Awkward And Annoying

It occurred to me mid-Golden Globes that Anne Hathaway is socially awkward. She seems nice, but why am I still overcome with the feeling of wanting to push her off a stage? She never knows when to dial things back. She’s over enthusiastic and spastic. She giggles like a four year old. She over uses her hands and arms when explaining simple things like taking a walk on a cold day or how she answers a phone call. She desperately wants you like her. But you just can’t because she’s awkward and needy and cloying.

Follow me here. Let’s walk through some general signs of someone who is socially awkward.

1. Feeling nervous in social settings – anxiety producing.

Despite being in show business for probably 15 years now at awards shows she still acts as if she’s been invited to a neighbor’s Bar Mitzvah. It’s not like she’s never been to an awards show, let alone one where she’s been nominated. Pull it together, weirdo. Laughing uncontrollably and running your shaking fingers over your face is a bit much. Peddle the brakes.

2. Not understanding social norms. Not knowing what is and is not appropriate in a social situation.

Hathaway at the Critics Choice Awards days ago:

“This is a bittersweet moment for me because I have this award, but you spelled my name wrong. It is with an “e.” It’s probably in bad taste for me to point that out here, but um… I’m sorry I don’t mean to be gauche.”

But you are. How about the other women squeezing their butt cheeks so they don’t cry in front of the you-just-lost camera? Have some respect.

3. Often having a different impact than intended.

Running onto stage when the entire film has been awarded and breathlessly thanking the agent you forgot in your own speech is an a-hole move, especially when it comes down to it you’re only in the flick for about 15 minutes. Look at Chastain. She can keep it together and she had a lead role. And then clutching onto your visibly scared co-star Amanda Seyfried and spooning her like her prison girlfriend is even worse. Tone it down, nut bag. It’s not just about you.

4. The lack of conversation flow.

She seems about as interesting as a cardboard box.

5. Frequently being avoided or ridiculed by others.

She deserves it when she says things like this:

Her speech:

Blerg. Thank you Tina for the word. Wow. (Feigning surprise after practicing this scene in front of her bathroom mirror for hours on Saturday).

This is happening…..Thank you for this lovely blunt object. (Huh?) That I will forever use as a weapon against self-doubt.. (As IF you doubt yourself)… For a girl who once was a Disney Princess I thank Sally Field who also started out as the Flying Nun… (Is that a dig?) …Tom Hooper (director) I will not damage your reputation as an aloof man who doesn’t cry and that you actually sat next to me and weeped after my awe inspiring performance. I won’t tell anyone that. (Desperate attempt to sound funny)…. And honey thank you for the best string of yesterdays I have ever had… (because that’s how a normal person talks to their husband).

6. The lack of meaningful connections with others.

Hathaway is the kind of girl who was a little too into drama club. The kind of person who lands the lead in the high school musical and yells at the rest of the cast because they are not working hard enough to protect the “dignity of the script”. The kind that treats opening night in the school auditorium for an audience filled with other people’s parents like a debut performance on Broadway. The kind that would be happier if she could have normal conversations like monologues on a darkened stage with one lone spotlight on her chalk white face. The loser that wishes life was one big musical.

She just bugs. She’s over eager. She’s shoves her fake happy down your throat. She uses terms like wispy and fantasy in every day conversations.

She’s weird.

Can I get an amen?

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

January 11, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Former Bachelor Contestant Reveals Secrets of Show: My Interview

I tried to watch the Bachelor Monday night. I put in a good hour of public service until I couldn’t physically take it anymore. Did these girls understand he is essentially an albino covered in spray tan? What about the girl who did a back bend in her evening gown and collapsed mid-bridge? This is to say nothing of the 48-year-old yoga teacher with frazzled hair and no shoes. Are they kidding me with this? And has it occurred to anyone that he might not be straight? What kind of guy goes on a reality dating show when he is a born again virgin?

So my buddy Courtney tells me that in fact one of her best friends actually appeared on the Bachelor Paris. That was the one where that milquetoast doctor named Travis chose the kindergarten teacher who actually lived around the corner in Tennessee. Here’s a shocker: they broke up.

So I had to get more information. What would make a normal girl from Southern California agree to be part of that shat show?

Kyle graduated from UC Santa Barbara and did post graduate work at UCLA. She has her own company called First Class Counseling working as a college counselor and helping high school kids with the college application process. She is also a flight attendant for Jet Blue Airways. This is her very cute boyfriend Brady. You can find her at www.culinaryhopscotch.com (she’s a foodie).

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January 04, 2013

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Jenny Craig Won’t Hire Kim Kardashian

Weight loss is a pretty universal struggle. Have you ever met anyone who has said that at no point did they find themselves reeling back the donuts and having to step up their workouts? If you do know someone like that can you track them down and kick them in the face as a post-holiday gift for the rest of us? This is all the more frustrating when you’ve just pushed a watermelon out your wazoo and your once toned body looks temporarily like an inflatable pool raft. So when a celebrity paid millions of dollars to simply follow a program and lose weight isn’t very honest it makes our blood boil. Really? You just ate the pre-packaged meals and walked around your block? You didn’t actually have three workouts a day and subsist on shakes so that you could meet your contract and get your payout? Or you didn’t take a secret trip to the lipo factory on Santa Monica Boulevard in the middle of the night via a back entrance so you could be photographed on the cover of Shape Magazine in three months?

Reps for Jenny Craig said they would not consider Kim Kardashian for a post-baby weight loss campaign instead focusing on “real results for real women” this year.

Thank God.

Because imagine the revolt of the American new mama society if we had to be subjected to Kim Kardashian post-baby weight loss ads? Kim, standing in a dimly light room with a leather cat suit zipped up the back by a team of engineers pretending she had not made several visits to Beverly Hills surgeons. “I just slipped on my Sketchers and did some brisk walks in the Calabasas hills with my sisters”, she would explain. “And then I followed Jenny’s easy diet re-prepared by my live-in chef.” In between takes her makeup artist would re-contour her makeup and she would reposition herself because the three sets of Spanx would temporarily cut off her circulation. “It’s so easy to do I’ve even have Khloe doing it”, she would say. And momager Kris Kardashian (because she would have dropped Jenner by then) would stand in the background counting stacks of cash while ignoring the calls of her less important kids.

I salute you Jenny Craig.

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

December 28, 2012

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Fake Tom Cruise Dating Stories

I love it when a celebrity publicist plants an obvious story. The more obvious it is, the better. Because no matter how famous you are your publicity team still needs to make regular calls to reporters at all the weeklies to ensure you get print. Tom Cruise is 50 years old. He’s no longer getting photographed with a robot wife and their daughter. He’s got a new movie to sell and a taped deposition in a lawsuit he’s trying to sweep under the rug. So he’s got to divert attention and somehow his publicists think the way to do it is to come up with a hilarious plant about taking a restaurant hostess out for a romantic night in New York City.

From In Touch Weekly (slumming it, I would say for the Tomas of yester year):

“On December 18, the Collateral star swept his date, Queens native Cynthia Jorge off her feet at New York’s Le Baron nightclub, an insider who saw the exchange told a weekly magazine. “They did the salsa. He took her in his arms and spun her around the dance floor,” the insider told the magazine. “Tom looked like a pro. At one point, they began grinding together. It was straight out of Dirty Dancing.”

He took her in his arms and began “grinding” together straight out of Dirty Dancing? Did she also do the lift in the center of the dance floor while a circle formed around them?

Can you imagine the plants that hit the cutting room floor? If they were going to go balls out, maybe they should have considered some other options:

1.    “On December 18, the Jack Reacher star took his date, Scranton native Crystal Trollip on a whirlwind date to Times Square that culminated with some dry humping on top of a street grate.”
2.    “On December 18, the Rock of Ages star took his date, Kansas City native Roberta Robinson on a titillating date to the Broadway performance of West Side Story. By the end of the show they were both doing toe touches in the aisle.”
3.    “On December 18, the Top Gun star took his date Chris Christianson to a pet heavy date at a karaoke bar in Greenwich Village where he serenaded with her the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers classic “Islands in the Stream.”

If Tom Cruise really went out on a date I doubt he would take them dancing. He’d probably arrange an auditing session at the Scientology Center after racing motorbikes in the dessert near the L. Ron Hubbard compound. You know – romantic stuff.

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter

December 21, 2012

AmoreMagazine.com's Kate Casey: Can Kate Middleton Spend Christmas With Her Parents?

Once Kate Middleton married into the firm, otherwise known as the Royal family, she accepted the responsibility, which requires her to attend every Christmas dinner with the other Royals at Queen Elizabeth’s Sandringham Estate. As in, she is to never spend Christmas unwrapping gifts with her folks. She’s got to saddle up to the long table and drink Port with the in-laws who all happen to wear fancy jewelry and have titles. But because she’s been ralphing 24/7 because of acute morning sickness the Queen might be offering her a break. There was speculation she might be “allowed” to spend it with her parents who live closer to a hospital in the event she needs immediate care. The Queen’s crib, as you can imagine, is about 35 miles west of BF Egypt. You get sick? You’re just supposed to hobble around until the vacation is over and your car takes you back to civilization. It’s what is expected, you see. So if Katy Cambridge takes a break from Christmas pudding and sacks out in Bucklebury watching Made in Chelsea reruns with her brother and sister she’s got another thing coming. She best rise to the occasion, my lady.

“Kate doesn’t want to disappoint the queen, nor does she want to skip on her duties,” an insider says. “She feels she is obliged to appear at the annual Christmas dinner… William has his concerns though that she won’t be up to it, and told Kate she shouldn’t worry if she feels too sick to attend and that no-one will judge her negatively.”

Um, sure. No one will judge. They’re royals. They judge. That’s part of their job description.

If she were to skip those cousins Beatrice and Eugenie would be texting their mother all day long. Then Fergie would call the tabloids and call Kate weak and needy. Camilla would probably point out how when she had her kids in 1840 that she maintained her hunting schedule while vomiting. They would not let her live this down. So she’s stuck having to sit through boring conversations about the weather, squirrel traps, and how delicious the goose tastes. This, by the way, while pretending she doesn’t want to spit on everyone’s shoes.

Side note: Can you imagine having to come up with a Christmas present for Queen Elizabeth? I mean, how many teacups can the lady have?