Amore Magazine

Weight loss is a pretty universal struggle. Have you ever met anyone who has said that at no point did they find themselves reeling back the donuts and having to step up their workouts? If you do know someone like that can you track them down and kick them in the face as a post-holiday gift for the rest of us? This is all the more frustrating when you’ve just pushed a watermelon out your wazoo and your once toned body looks temporarily like an inflatable pool raft. So when a celebrity paid millions of dollars to simply follow a program and lose weight isn’t very honest it makes our blood boil. Really? You just ate the pre-packaged meals and walked around your block? You didn’t actually have three workouts a day and subsist on shakes so that you could meet your contract and get your payout? Or you didn’t take a secret trip to the lipo factory on Santa Monica Boulevard in the middle of the night via a back entrance so you could be photographed on the cover of Shape Magazine in three months?

Reps for Jenny Craig said they would not consider Kim Kardashian for a post-baby weight loss campaign instead focusing on “real results for real women” this year.

Thank God.

Because imagine the revolt of the American new mama society if we had to be subjected to Kim Kardashian post-baby weight loss ads? Kim, standing in a dimly light room with a leather cat suit zipped up the back by a team of engineers pretending she had not made several visits to Beverly Hills surgeons. “I just slipped on my Sketchers and did some brisk walks in the Calabasas hills with my sisters”, she would explain. “And then I followed Jenny’s easy diet re-prepared by my live-in chef.” In between takes her makeup artist would re-contour her makeup and she would reposition herself because the three sets of Spanx would temporarily cut off her circulation. “It’s so easy to do I’ve even have Khloe doing it”, she would say. And momager Kris Kardashian (because she would have dropped Jenner by then) would stand in the background counting stacks of cash while ignoring the calls of her less important kids.

I salute you Jenny Craig.
 

-Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. Soon-to-be New mom again. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter