Amore Magazine

Dear Mary,

I’m glad you are having fun with Brian—that’s a key component to a good relationship and something that is often not given enough thought when looking long-term.  Since you are nearing the one-year mark of dating each other, it is a good time to evaluate your relationship and to make sure it is meeting both your needs and his.  Think of it like an annual review at work—you want to know what is working, what is not working and what can be done to make things better. 

Depending on your style, you can be formal and write the answers to these questions or just think about them. 

-what are the “pros and cons” for this relationship?
-am I giving enough energy and time to make this successful?
-what are the 5 best things about him/her?
-are there any regrets, such as wishing to have dated someone else?
-are you being true to yourself and not neglecting friends, family or other responsibilities?
-what type of feedback to you get from friends and family?  Do they encourage or discourage the relationship? 

Answering these questions can give you a sense of how you really feel and possibly uncover things that have not been going well.  You can choose to do this alone or share with Brian as a starting point to any discussions you may need to have together. Hopefully, you will discover that everything is going well. 

Relationships are often a leap of faith and I think it is healthy to evaluate the situation periodically.  Good couples compliment one other and make each other happy. By taking the time to examine your unique situation, you will hopefully ensure a long and successful relationship that will continue to strengthen and grow over time.
Best of luck to you.

Denise Shannon