Dear Nick,
Let's be honest, your career has been in the shit house. This girlfriend of yours has been doing you no favors. No one likes her. In fact sometimes it seems like you do not even like her. Does she really want to marry you because she wants to spend the rest of her life with you or to get some publicity? She strikes me as someone who will do anything to be famous. Don't you think there is a reason no one wants to hire her?
Now, I know your judgment can be a little suspect. Remember the last one you married? I am still convinced she is a functional illiterate. Is it me or does she have three brain cells? She has to be if she has such a successful accessories business, right? But then again.. I just saw pictures from her new collection, and I am perplexed at what demographic is willing to buy jean rompers with a zipper down the front? Exhibit A:
You are obviously hoping this new reality show will give your career a boost, but I have a better idea. Call it quits with the annoying girlfriend. Change your phone numbers. Take a long shower. Then you need to call ABC and offer to be the new Bachelor.
Stay with me here.
You are a former boy band singer. The Bachelor audience is in your wheelhouse. You could use the show to promote your cheesy music. Imagine all the love songs you can sing in those creepy hot tub scenes? If I were your agent I would throw in a couple fantasy dates where you are forced to jump rope or run stairs. Think about all the fitness equipment you could endorse? The opportunities are limitless.
I would be happy to be the friend who comes to the Bachelorette house to interview the girls about their true intentions. Trust me, I could weed out the nut bags.
Before you know it everyone would be talking about Nick's pursuit for the perfect wife and mother for your height-challenged children, and less about your desperate attempts to keep your annoying girlfriend happy.
Think about it.
You're welcome,
Kate Casey
Kate is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter
I'm excited about your new book; the questions of passion, great ideas, and how the brain/mind work in general are ones for which I have great interest. I was also looking forward to your visit to my website,link my name now,come on!
Posted by: jordan retro 5 | October 14, 2010 at 04:11 AM