One of the benefits of being raised in a completely dysfunctional family is you become pretty skeptical of people in general. I’m thinking this could be part of the reason Katie Holmes found herself so unhappily married to Tom Cruise. As I understand it, she comes from a really nice family from Ohio who love and respect each other. So when Cruise’s fleet of Scientology lieutenants started Operation: Wife #3 she was easily fooled. Now had this happened to me, for example, I would have been able to sniff out the crazy long before he’d changed my name and taking courses at the Scientology Center. I mean the minute he told me that Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago and that Earth was then known as “Teegeeack” I would have grabbed my car keys and gotten out of dodge. But she probably had parents who know her middle name and don’t speak with a fake accent. So what would she know about escaping a cult?
Because I would have known pretty early on that a normal single man would find it creepy to live with his mother, his sisters, and their kids under one big surveillance covered roof. I would have been concerned that all my new church friends took copious notes on our conversations. I would have also resisted the urge to participate in the Annual Scientology Picnic or wanted to attend the Scientology Prayer Breakfast after being asked the following kinds of questions while hooked up to a makeshift lie detector test:
- Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
- Have you ever smothered a baby?
- Have you ever enslaved a population?
- Have you ever destroyed a culture?
- Have you ever torn out someone’s tongue?
- Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
But again, maybe if you grew up happy and around normal people you would stay and enjoy the cheese platter and a cold Sprite while answering these questions objectively and then getting impregnated with a turkey baster in a windowless doctor’s office. You’d just think everyone was sweet and means well.
-Kate Casey
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter
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